"..........I ran back to see her again but she had left already.
I looked like such an idiotic fool. It felt that she didn't care for me but that would never stop me from pursuing her....."
Rahil stopped in between the lines of his chapters when he received a message in his cell phone. It was 13th February and the sun was up early morning. Day had started to heat up as winter was all set to leave the city. He sluggishly placed the diary beside him and checked the message, sitting alone in his room.
"Good Morning" read the message.
Out of nowhere , after countless days he received an early morning text from her. He was left surprised. He was stunned but as it was always, she often managed to do this to him.
"Good Morning", he replied back with a smiley, trying to show how happy he felt after receiving her message.
He typed back with millions of chances running inside him. He laughed a bit. He had never been in such a situation before.
"Can you call me?", came the message again from the other side. He was beaming now.
"Fine , give me a minute , I am calling you", he typed it again with the same emoticon.
Rahil got up from his bed with a perplexed expression. It took a moment for him to get out of this bewildered morning conversation. He pulled a chair and sat, deciding to call her.
"Hello".
"Hey , How are you?" , she mumbled softly.
"Yup...I'm fine...as always..".
"Okay".
"Say what made you talk to me today? Do you again need me?" , he tried to sound little rude and disinterested .
"Oh...shut up now....".
"Okay ...sure...".
"Rahil...I felt I should say sorry to you..".
"Sorry for what?".
"...I don't know...for everything I guess" she sounded little embarassed.
"Nope..its okay, why should you say sorry to me...I don't even understand. Afterall, I'm no one to you , right...just another stranger, I guess..", he said and waited for her response, wishing he would finally hear something he would like. His heart was beating faster as always.
"Oh God....Why are you like this Rahil?."
"Because this is how I am...I am horrible..".
"Why do you always want to fight with me...?".
"Because you are horrible too Ayesha......that's why", he murmured, and silence followed for the next few seconds.
"I don't understand whats going on....I don't know...Rahil..I seriously don't".
"You don't have to know also, you are happy and nothing is wrong in your life ".
"Yeah right, You know everything na?" she said with a sigh.
"Okay, leave it, So tell me in plain English, are we even friends now?", he asked . He smiled faintly, as he was not sure himself what he meant.
"I don't know..." she replied.
"Now you don't even know that we are friends or not...okay...okay...nice .." he mumbled in irritation.
"Oh God , you are making this more hard for me", she spoke softly.
Did I accidentally offended her?, he thought, and he said, " What?".
"Nothing...".
"Ayesha don't talk in riddles. Stop beating around the bush . What are you thinking now?", he questioned and looked down at the diary in his hand.
"I guess....we will try to remain friends after this..".
It was a bit relief for him to hear those words clearly. But he was still confused. In a faint husky tone he said,
"Ayesha....I am still trying to know what you are talking about".
She held an intented smile on her face, kept in hanging on her lips as she started breathing heavily from the other side of the phone.
"Rahil, I like you the way you are. We have had memories together...a short one but a wonderful one...but...".
"But what?".
"Rahil, my family is moving to Pune. Yes, we are leaving Kolkata in about a week.", her face turned red as she said this over the phone. Rahil stood up in shocked despair the moment she finished her line.
"What?....You are joking...I know", he tried to smile.
"Nope, why will I?....my dad got posted ...so we are moving there...and thats the reason I din't want anything to grow between us ...Prashit had called me up early morning and yes...its not about my ex boyfriend Rahil..its about my family, and i am leaving."
"a....and you college..?", he din't know what to say. He still couldn't believe this.
"Dad wants me to drop an year and join Law over there...", her blue eyes went teary and her cheeks went red as she explained him. Sometimes truth can be worst and unknown can be better.
"Ayesha...I mean...", he couldn't complete his sentence , and the long silence followed. She was crying from the other side showing that she would be missing him.
"Ayesha ...this is frustrating, you know...tell me once that its just a joke...I beg you please..., " he said with a stammering voice after a long pause.
"I will always miss you Rahil....You are too different from everyone...", she mumbled.
The world had fallen apart for him. He was left all speechless by his crush as always. He couldn't believe his luck. Its said that you will get something if you truely want it, but here it was just opposite for him.
"I don't know what to say now.....can..can we meet Ayesha?", he was justifying his irritation now.
"Why?", she demanded.
"Okay , you are moving away, and I can't even meet you?...okay...fine. You question too much everytime , you know that?. I want to meet you and I don't have any reason for that. I...I just don't wanna lose you...be whatever you are...but be in my life. I know its been only few months of knowing you but I don't want to lose you. Let me be with you as no one Ayesha, I am happy with that too. I can compromise with everything to be with you. What will..I do..here...without you?, I want to complete my novel one day and I don't want my main character to move away Ayesha...."
his voice flowed with emotions. That was one of the longest speeches had made.
"Kill your main character....and end it....I bet it will sell...yup it will.", she replied with a deep voice.
"I don't care if it doesn't sell or not....just be here....I can go to any extent to keep you with me here", he stammered more.
"Rahil...... as you always said....its fate..what can I say more. Life is long dear, you never know the short comings...and now stop behaving like a kid and try to understand me. Rahil, I will always miss you and what little time spent with you..",
she said slowly. Her face was red and tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"I have nothing left to say I guess.....thanks to Fate that you are going away....atleast I am thankful that I met you....and all this happened..", he sounded hurt .
"Rahil....we will talk about this later....mom calling...and sorry..."
He din't bother to reply more. He just placed the phone beside him and moved towards balcony holding a diary in his hand. Happy Valentine's Day in advance dear, he whispered. Drops of tears started rolling down his face as he walked expressionless out of the room. It was not a relationship, it was much more than that. It was not a break up but it was harder than that for him. He felt like leaving everything and moving million miles away . It felt more harder and harder to take the truth. But there was no point. These few months had changed him. The serendipitous meeting and memories ran all through his mind. His heart sinked into the depths of his stomach.
He took long breaths, he couldn't cry, he couldn't scream. All he could do was beg in front of fate and keep breathing. He didn't want to die but wanted to live one more day in wait for his crush. He had never been in this scenario before. This was the truth, the reality he was in. His story seem ending even before it started.
Ayesha whatever you are, I don't care and I won't give up on you, he murmured slowly looking up at the sky. He sat on the floor on his balcony resting himself to the wall and opened his diary. He opened it and went to the last page.
Ayesha, My heart shatters. My world burns down. I just want you to know how much I need you. I need you from the time I saw you from the corridors of the college and will need you for the rest of my life. These months, despite of many fights and discussion , have been the best time I have had.
Ayesha you give me happiness. You give me the reason to plan my life ahead and you see, here I am, totally down and out.
My hand is shaking . I am terrified to face the truth. How do I keep hope in a world like this, full of uncertainties.
I know I'm worthless. I'm not the one you would notice first when you walk into a room. I'm weird and I don't mind because I'm lucky that I met you. I will be with you and will make sure my novel ends well....
In such a short span of time, I found you. I won't let it end easily, I will make you mine at every cost Ayesha.
Rahil closed the diary gently and put the cover to his parker. His cell phone was ringing continuously but hardly he cared. He sat there, heads down. The cold wind blew off, caressing his face.
Life had never been easy for him. It was full of ups and downs he knew it. Love will never know its depth until separation but he knew this was not the hour of separation as both of them were young and had so much to live for. He was in no mood to give up and was willing to take his chances and risk it all to keep her with him.
Crushes are beautiful and sometimes you have to stop believing in Fate and start believing in yourself to keep them with you .
I looked like such an idiotic fool. It felt that she didn't care for me but that would never stop me from pursuing her....."
Rahil stopped in between the lines of his chapters when he received a message in his cell phone. It was 13th February and the sun was up early morning. Day had started to heat up as winter was all set to leave the city. He sluggishly placed the diary beside him and checked the message, sitting alone in his room.
"Good Morning" read the message.
Out of nowhere , after countless days he received an early morning text from her. He was left surprised. He was stunned but as it was always, she often managed to do this to him.
"Good Morning", he replied back with a smiley, trying to show how happy he felt after receiving her message.
He typed back with millions of chances running inside him. He laughed a bit. He had never been in such a situation before.
"Can you call me?", came the message again from the other side. He was beaming now.
"Fine , give me a minute , I am calling you", he typed it again with the same emoticon.
Rahil got up from his bed with a perplexed expression. It took a moment for him to get out of this bewildered morning conversation. He pulled a chair and sat, deciding to call her.
"Hello".
"Hey , How are you?" , she mumbled softly.
"Yup...I'm fine...as always..".
"Okay".
"Say what made you talk to me today? Do you again need me?" , he tried to sound little rude and disinterested .
"Oh...shut up now....".
"Okay ...sure...".
"Rahil...I felt I should say sorry to you..".
"Sorry for what?".
"...I don't know...for everything I guess" she sounded little embarassed.
"Nope..its okay, why should you say sorry to me...I don't even understand. Afterall, I'm no one to you , right...just another stranger, I guess..", he said and waited for her response, wishing he would finally hear something he would like. His heart was beating faster as always.
"Oh God....Why are you like this Rahil?."
"Because this is how I am...I am horrible..".
"Why do you always want to fight with me...?".
"Because you are horrible too Ayesha......that's why", he murmured, and silence followed for the next few seconds.
"I don't understand whats going on....I don't know...Rahil..I seriously don't".
"You don't have to know also, you are happy and nothing is wrong in your life ".
"Yeah right, You know everything na?" she said with a sigh.
"Okay, leave it, So tell me in plain English, are we even friends now?", he asked . He smiled faintly, as he was not sure himself what he meant.
"I don't know..." she replied.
"Now you don't even know that we are friends or not...okay...okay...nice .." he mumbled in irritation.
"Oh God , you are making this more hard for me", she spoke softly.
Did I accidentally offended her?, he thought, and he said, " What?".
"Nothing...".
"Ayesha don't talk in riddles. Stop beating around the bush . What are you thinking now?", he questioned and looked down at the diary in his hand.
"I guess....we will try to remain friends after this..".
It was a bit relief for him to hear those words clearly. But he was still confused. In a faint husky tone he said,
"Ayesha....I am still trying to know what you are talking about".
She held an intented smile on her face, kept in hanging on her lips as she started breathing heavily from the other side of the phone.
"Rahil, I like you the way you are. We have had memories together...a short one but a wonderful one...but...".
"But what?".
"Rahil, my family is moving to Pune. Yes, we are leaving Kolkata in about a week.", her face turned red as she said this over the phone. Rahil stood up in shocked despair the moment she finished her line.
"What?....You are joking...I know", he tried to smile.
"Nope, why will I?....my dad got posted ...so we are moving there...and thats the reason I din't want anything to grow between us ...Prashit had called me up early morning and yes...its not about my ex boyfriend Rahil..its about my family, and i am leaving."
"a....and you college..?", he din't know what to say. He still couldn't believe this.
"Dad wants me to drop an year and join Law over there...", her blue eyes went teary and her cheeks went red as she explained him. Sometimes truth can be worst and unknown can be better.
"Ayesha...I mean...", he couldn't complete his sentence , and the long silence followed. She was crying from the other side showing that she would be missing him.
"Ayesha ...this is frustrating, you know...tell me once that its just a joke...I beg you please..., " he said with a stammering voice after a long pause.
"I will always miss you Rahil....You are too different from everyone...", she mumbled.
The world had fallen apart for him. He was left all speechless by his crush as always. He couldn't believe his luck. Its said that you will get something if you truely want it, but here it was just opposite for him.
"I don't know what to say now.....can..can we meet Ayesha?", he was justifying his irritation now.
"Why?", she demanded.
"Okay , you are moving away, and I can't even meet you?...okay...fine. You question too much everytime , you know that?. I want to meet you and I don't have any reason for that. I...I just don't wanna lose you...be whatever you are...but be in my life. I know its been only few months of knowing you but I don't want to lose you. Let me be with you as no one Ayesha, I am happy with that too. I can compromise with everything to be with you. What will..I do..here...without you?, I want to complete my novel one day and I don't want my main character to move away Ayesha...."
his voice flowed with emotions. That was one of the longest speeches had made.
"Kill your main character....and end it....I bet it will sell...yup it will.", she replied with a deep voice.
"I don't care if it doesn't sell or not....just be here....I can go to any extent to keep you with me here", he stammered more.
"Rahil...... as you always said....its fate..what can I say more. Life is long dear, you never know the short comings...and now stop behaving like a kid and try to understand me. Rahil, I will always miss you and what little time spent with you..",
she said slowly. Her face was red and tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"I have nothing left to say I guess.....thanks to Fate that you are going away....atleast I am thankful that I met you....and all this happened..", he sounded hurt .
"Rahil....we will talk about this later....mom calling...and sorry..."
He din't bother to reply more. He just placed the phone beside him and moved towards balcony holding a diary in his hand. Happy Valentine's Day in advance dear, he whispered. Drops of tears started rolling down his face as he walked expressionless out of the room. It was not a relationship, it was much more than that. It was not a break up but it was harder than that for him. He felt like leaving everything and moving million miles away . It felt more harder and harder to take the truth. But there was no point. These few months had changed him. The serendipitous meeting and memories ran all through his mind. His heart sinked into the depths of his stomach.
He took long breaths, he couldn't cry, he couldn't scream. All he could do was beg in front of fate and keep breathing. He didn't want to die but wanted to live one more day in wait for his crush. He had never been in this scenario before. This was the truth, the reality he was in. His story seem ending even before it started.
Ayesha whatever you are, I don't care and I won't give up on you, he murmured slowly looking up at the sky. He sat on the floor on his balcony resting himself to the wall and opened his diary. He opened it and went to the last page.
Ayesha, My heart shatters. My world burns down. I just want you to know how much I need you. I need you from the time I saw you from the corridors of the college and will need you for the rest of my life. These months, despite of many fights and discussion , have been the best time I have had.
Ayesha you give me happiness. You give me the reason to plan my life ahead and you see, here I am, totally down and out.
My hand is shaking . I am terrified to face the truth. How do I keep hope in a world like this, full of uncertainties.
I know I'm worthless. I'm not the one you would notice first when you walk into a room. I'm weird and I don't mind because I'm lucky that I met you. I will be with you and will make sure my novel ends well....
In such a short span of time, I found you. I won't let it end easily, I will make you mine at every cost Ayesha.
Rahil closed the diary gently and put the cover to his parker. His cell phone was ringing continuously but hardly he cared. He sat there, heads down. The cold wind blew off, caressing his face.
Life had never been easy for him. It was full of ups and downs he knew it. Love will never know its depth until separation but he knew this was not the hour of separation as both of them were young and had so much to live for. He was in no mood to give up and was willing to take his chances and risk it all to keep her with him.
Crushes are beautiful and sometimes you have to stop believing in Fate and start believing in yourself to keep them with you .
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